HOW MANY BIG TEN STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Well ... At Michigan it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.

At Northwestern it takes four. One to change the bulb, two to place bets on how long it will take, and one to run the book.

At Michigan State it takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three to figure out how to get high off the old one.

At Ohio State it takes five. One to change it, two to talk about how Woody would have done it, and two to throw the old bulb at Michigan students.

At Wisconsin it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks, and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At Illinois it takes seven, and each one gets four semester credit hours for it.

At Indiana it takes eight. One to screw it in, and seven to discuss how much brighter it shines during basketball season.

At Minnesota it takes twelve. Two to figure out how to screw it in, ten to find an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.

At Penn Sate it takes 100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they do it better than Penn, and 50 who realize it's all a lie.

At Iowa it takes none. There is no electricity in Iowa.